So you, like, think you are really well traveled?
The lost art of spontaneous travel
People love to claim travel as one of their favorite interests. Check out any 20- to 40-something year old’s dating profile and you would be hard pressed to find one without a prompt seeking tips for their next trip abroad, or a token picture in front of a major tourist attraction from their most recent trip (disclaimer: photos of you by a tiger in Thailand will not get you likes.) However, few in numbers are those who can travel as consistently as a passion or hobby truly deserves. Our jobs, families, adult responsibilities commonly cast a shadow over our wanderlust, giving us plenty of excuses to push this desire aside.
Travel might be one of the things we enjoy doing most, but it is rare to come across someone who prioritizes it with as much effort and enthusiasm as they do the more mundane parts of their life. As someone who is single, without kids, and has found themselves recently unemployed, it felt as good a time as any to put my money where my mouth was and book a trip. I was feeling numb and depressed after an arduous year dealing with the challenges of aging parents and losing a job title that I let define me, and needed to make some necessary changes in my life to work through it all. I have a hard time adjusting my routine in the face of sudden and unexpected change, as do most people. What I needed was a change of scenery; an opportunity to be in a new place and create new habits to bring home and apply to my new reality.
After getting my finances in order and crunching some numbers, I formed a rough budget for a solo trip ahead of the holiday surges. This allowed me to really narrow my focus and avoid being overwhelmed by too many options. Then I tried to meditate on how I wanted this trip to make me feel. For me, given the timing and circumstances, I was in search of coziness, crisp air, and holiday cheer. I craved the juxtaposition of both bustle and solitude that only a metropolitan city can offer. And I wanted to experience something new.
The key to choosing this destination came down to finding a metropolitan city I had yet to visit that would be immersed in festive regalia. New York and Paris are known for their over the top Christmas festivities, but I had both visited before. The misty Pacific Northwest was another option I seriously considered, but simply didn’t have the cheery disposition I so desperately wanted. These filters, a few google searches and a pro/con list for the ages led me to the only place that met all of the criteria I had come up with: London.
I have always thought of England as a retirement option for myself, mainly inspired by fictional characters like Amanda Woods from The Holiday, and pub proprietor Mae from Ted Lasso. Despite this vision I had in my mind for years, I had never visited England beyond a few brief layovers at Heathrow. A few google searches and sneaky signs from the universe later, I booked a ticket and started formulating a rough list of places to possibly check out.
The beauty of solo travel is not having to have every detail ironed out in advance. Only once in my life did I ever travel to another country without having every transportation and accommodation detail solidified before embarking on my journey (Thailand 2008, which I talk briefly about here.) And with the amount of travel I have done - and desire to do - I felt that it was high time I take advantage of my disposition and take a more spontaneous approach to travel. I booked my flight on Tuesday at midnight and boarded my flight on Sunday morning with a carry on, only half of my accommodations loosely booked, and no reservations for any type of attraction, show or restaurant (except lunch at Dishoom, because, well, it is Dishoom.) I knew how to get from the airport to my first rental thanks to a few friends who had recently visited, and relied on my sense of adventure (and Google Maps) for the rest.
The result was exactly what I had hoped. By some standards, my trip may have seemed lackluster. I got shit weather and saw no major sites. I didn’t even end up leaving the city to explore other towns as I had thought I would. But I left London with lots of Christmas cheer saved up to get me through the rest of the month at home, and a renewed sense of confidence in myself for being calm, kind and resourceful in the face of the unknown. I left inspired and was able to get back into my creative flow with writing. I met wonderful people and learned about their lives in the cozy corners of pubs filled with warmth and curiosity. I came home so much happier than when I left and can honestly say that my experience in London was truly magical. It is somewhere I know I will visit again many times over, and perhaps live out that retirement dream I have.
There is no better money spent then on travel. Traveling reminds us how small we really are. It teaches us about the many different types of people that inhabit the many corners of this vast planet. But spontaneous travel is both that AND a wonderful way to remind yourself how badass you are. Do you know how many people looked at me in delighted astonishment when I told them I just bought a plane ticket a few days prior and didn’t know where I was staying the next night? That said how fucking cool it was that I decided what I wanted to do, and simply did it without overthinking? Not everyone can pull that off, for one reason or another. And to look back on that experience and be able to say that I just did the damn thing is going to be something that brings a smile to my face for as long as I live.
We can do hard things, but we don’t always know it when everything seems to be falling apart. When we start to lose control, we forget who we are and what we have survived. A change of scenery can spark renewed perspective and appreciation. Pulling trig on a plane ticket departing in a few days has the power to remind us of our privilege and what it really means to be free. And while we make that trek home having all of these new experiences we didn’t plan for but so clearly needed, we realize that there doesn’t always need to be a plan for things to work out. If anything, we look back on the journey that - quite literally - unfolded and realize that it all makes perfect sense and happened just the way it should have.


You are my badass hero. Such a good reminder. I am currently sitting in a tire store, half hour out of Palm Springs, which is my travel destination for this weekend. Flat tire from a large pothole. Breathing. Taking it in stride. Just a part of the adventure that is when we step out. Your piece could not have been better timed. Thank you!